What Do You Do?

It never fails. You're at a party, or meeting friends of friends. And someone asks The Dreaded Question: "So, what do you do?"

What do I do? I do lots of things. I write a blog. I dabble in poetry. I listen to prog rock. I love my wife. I take care of two spoiled kitties. I act and volunteer at a community theater. I take walks. I read. I binge-watch shows on Netflix... Oh! What do I do for a living?

It's really rather sad how we are defined by our jobs. Don't get me wrong; I like my job. (Usually; we all have our moments, don't we?) But my job doesn't define who I am. I had been pondering this idea a bit recently, and on the way home from work (I teach at a business school, BTW), I heard part of a TED talk about this very subject. The speaker was relating how this is a new phenomenon. Three hundred years ago, people weren't introduced by their occupation but by where they lived and who their family is. I like it! "I'm Rob of the Adams and Buch houses, and I live in the Borough of Ephrata." That says as much (or more) about me than what I do for a living.

We're more than what we do for a vocation, aren't we? I think we are beautiful, complicated beings. Like a diamond, we can't be described by a single facet. You've got to see us from all angles, in different lights, perhaps moving about us to see us from different vantages.

I know, it's usually asked innocently (unless there is some ulterior motive like sales). And sometimes it's the default question because we don't know what else to ask. But I for one will endeavor to put some more arrows in my quiver: How do you know so-and-so? Where are you from? What did you think of the show/speech/movie? If the other person is that excited about his or her job, I'm more than willing to listen.

But I won't ask. I want to get to know you, not your job.