Reasons

"There's a reason for everything."

It's a mantra that seems to be everywhere. People throw it out there in every imaginable situation, from the most banal to the most profound. Unfortunately, it rears its head in the wake of deaths and tragedies like Sandy Hook. And that's where I think it's most harmful. There's a reason that 26 people—including 20 children—died last month? I'm sure the families of the victims find great comfort in that.

In fairness, I understand (I think) some of the motivation behind the old chestnut. People want to assign some meaning, find some purpose to life—particularly the painful parts. But if truly considered, this simple platitude does more harm than good. Back to the Sandy Hook tragedy, it is a serious dark spot on the conscience of our country as a whole, and especially of the community of Newtown. And people want to redeem the tragedy somehow. But it's not as simple as we want to make it. Cliches and platitudes honestly do nothing more than avoid the issue.

We must face the pain. We need to wrestle with it and feel it honestly. There is a a role that grief plays in our lives. Our souls need to experience the hurt, the loss. It's part of life in a world filled with broken, hurting people. Yes, there is joy and wonder, too, but we cannot dismiss the pain and darkness with worn-out, bumper-sticker expressions. If we truly are to find meaning in loss and tragedy, we need to look them square in the face to discern what they may have to teach us.

And guess what? Sometimes they don't have anything to teach us. There indeed are things to learn from the Sandy Hook massacre, I think—lessons about protecting and loving our children (and everyone, for that matter!), honest debates on gun control and public safety, questions about how we deal with and help those with mental illness—and probably many more. But isn't it a terrible price to pay for those lessons? And in some cases, there are no lessons. What lesson is there in the cruel death of a loved one? In a natural disaster? In a debilitating, lingering illness? Oh, there might be some in some cases; but I am convinced that sometimes we just have to face the hard and painful things and go on with life as best we can. One truism that I think we can hang onto is that eventually, things will get better. It's always hard to see in the midst of the dark times, but experience bears this out. I don't often quote scripture here, but I think this passage from Ecclesiastes is both simple and profound: For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.

It's undeniable that there will often be dark nights, but there will always be a bright morning after it.