Not that there's anything wrong with that...

The issue of marriage equality has been swirling around the public consciousness for some time now. Might as well jump into the fray.

For the uninitiated (I guess there might be a few), the title of this post comes from a Seinfeld episode from the series' fourth season (The Outing) in which an overheard conversation leads a college newspaper writer to believe that Jerry and George are gay. The ensuing attempt to correct the error leads to the catchphrase that has become rather iconic. According to the cast and writers, GLAAD originally had a problem with the show. However, when the phrase "not there's anything wrong with that" was added, it was praised for its even-handed dealing with the issue.

Many more learned people than I have already made the scholarly points about sexuality and marriage equality, so I'll just add my own thoughts and experiences. It seems that there are two major problems at work here. The first is, bluntly, that some straight folks see homosexuality as "icky." Oh, they often hide behind scriptural proscriptions—which I'm convinced are either mistranslated, misread, or went the way of accepted slavery. The point is that so many can't get past the image of what two same-sex people do in the bedroom. And that fixation seems more than a little perverted, I must say. If we can just get past that sick obsession, we will find that we're all people with the same wants, fears, hopes, and failures. And don't get me started on the whole "threat to the institution of marriage" argument. How does the behavior of anybody else threaten how my spouse and I live? Besides which, we heteros have done enough damage on our own, thank you.

The other major issue is actually more systemic, I think. Somehow,  too many of us (and I include myself in a trying-to-evolve sense) set ourselves up as the judge of everyone and everything. One of my favorite lines from the Simpsons (lot of truth to be mined in good sitcoms!) is when Flanders tells Homer that he is going to Christian camp to learn to be more judgmental. Sigh. Too true, Ned. Again, I like to think that I am evolving from that mentality. It's a hard habit to break, though. We so often think that we have life and other people all figured out. And we know just what they should do. Never mind our talent for making a right mess of our own lives. We may never get around to telling them, of course. There's a certain satisfaction to silent condemnation. That was always my modus operandi. Honestly, if we can just accept that we're all in this together and at least start moving toward acceptance, maybe we can get closer to—wait for it...

Love.

Heart Thinking

You may have noticed that I changed the subtitle of the blog. I came to think the original one a bit rambling, and it perhaps didn't truly capture the nature of the blog as much as I originally planned.

I recently read a description of contemplation—thinking with the heart—that really struck me. So here we are. Looking over the nature of the posts, there is some whimsy to be found, but they're mostly dealing with spiritual matters in one way or another. So the new subtitle captures that theme pretty well, I think. We certainly don't want to detach our minds or avoid serious thought. But we also need to be careful about living in our minds, where we can get ourselves into very dark and troubling places. (See previous post.)

As with so much of life, we need both ends of the spectrum—as well as everything in between. The head and the heart must both be instrumental in our living. And throw the gut in there, too. We've all had those moments where we may be thinking or feeling one thing, but our gut tells us to be cautious. That's the very definition of a gut-check. The more we can learn to integrate all three into our lives, the healthier and more balanced we will be. A wise person once encouraged me in the process of making a decision, that I should determine where my head, heart, and gut are on the matter. If two of the three agree, then continue to sit with it. If all three line up, then it's likely a good choice.